I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
