i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
