You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
