I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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