They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
