just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she looked like the before picture.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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