y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This is my gift to your gina
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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