Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize