How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
