i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
