I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
