I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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