naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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