You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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