wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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