i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
