Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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