He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
