is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
