I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
