wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
