Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
