He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize