absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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