You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
