Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize