With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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