I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
