i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
