My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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