i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
