you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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