take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
