yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
