Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
