Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
