I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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