Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
