The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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