You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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