i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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