Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
