We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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