What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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