But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
