i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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