On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
