READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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