his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
