Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
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