We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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