She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
