Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
