I must be too annoying 4 u.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
