If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize