Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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