I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
