We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
